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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782149">Hold on I'm Coming</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_milky_way/pseuds/the_milky_way'>the_milky_way</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Eddie Diaz Week 2021 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blink and you miss it Buddie, Christopher Diaz Has Two Dads, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Eddie Diaz Week 2021, Eddie Diaz is a Good Dad, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Good Friend Evan "Buck" Buckley, Good Parent Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Relationship Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Soft Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Soft Evan "Buck" Buckley, Supportive Evan "Buck" Buckley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:26:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29782149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_milky_way/pseuds/the_milky_way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie wants Chris to have good first Mother's Day after Shannon. Only, he doesn't really know how to do that and goes about it the wrong way. Maybe Buck has ideas how to get Chris out of his room after he slammed the door in Eddie's face.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Christopher Diaz &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Eddie Diaz Week 2021 [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>283</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hold on I'm Coming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMeerschwein/gifts">SMeerschwein</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my take on Day 1 of the <a href="https://eddiediazweek.tumblr.com/">Eddie Diaz Week 2021</a>: </p><p>“I have no idea what I’m doing.” + fatherhood</p><p>Title is taken from Welshly Arms' "Hold on I'm Coming"</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The door slamming shut behind his son sounds like a gunshot. Too loud. Too unexpected. Right in the face. Eddie flinches, hard, almost violently. For the sound and for the fact that Chris rarely is upset enough to resort to slamming doors. Eddie fucked up. And that pretty good this time. First Mother’s Day without Shannon and they haven’t reached lunch yet. But he has already managed to make his son so upset that he is hiding in his room now - mostly likely refusing to come out or even talk to Eddie for at least the next hour.</p><p>Serves him right, Eddie thinks. Not only did he almost forget about the day, he also obviously found every single thing Chris didn’t want to do. All the things Shannon did with him, the good memories, all of those were suddenly wrong now. Creating a dark cloud over Chris and a rift between them. As his son got quieter, more sullen, which each new thing Eddie suggested or tried to do, the more desperate Eddie became. This was supposed to be a good day, not filled with sadness or all their failures as parents. He didn't even make it to midday without fucking up yet again.</p><p>The sigh that works its way up his chest almost hurts. He feels a little dizzy, worn out even. When he slumps into the couch, resisting the urge to check on Chris just yet, Eddie rubs a hand over his face and succumbs to that fact that he failed. Again. He failed his son again. Like a pattern. Like he wasn’t on a good way there these last few years.</p><p>Colors dance behind his eyelids when he rubs over them again and again, trying to chase away the frustration that has settled within him. Frustration at himself. Never at Christopher. He doesn’t really know what’s next. Does he wait Chris out? Does he try to find something else to do for the rest of the day? Does he call his parents or his sisters or Carla for ideas? Does he pack Chris up and drive to Buck’s? He. Doesn’t. Know. Which is frustrating and draining at the same time.</p><p>Sometimes he wonders who thought it a good idea to make him a father but at the same moment he hears a voice suspiciously sounding like Buck scolding him for it. Eddie doesn’t know how long he sits there, wallowing in self-doubts and maybe a little in self-pity as well. It’s when he hears the front door open and close that he perks up again. He doesn’t turn around though, because he knows who it is. Eyes still closed, he waits for the dip in the couch and the warmth spreading along his side. </p><p>“Chris call you?”</p><p>How else would Buck know? Maybe he should feel hurt that his son calls Buck for support, maybe it should reinforce the doubts he has about his qualities as a father. For some reason it doesn’t though. Buck being here just feels like a giant relief. It’s then that Eddie realizes that he and Chris have someone to rely on again. That this happens on Mother’s Day is the sort of the irony life seems to throw at him at times. Thighs pressed close to hard muscle, hip against hip, arms rubbing with each breath, grounding him in reality and letting him know he isn't alone in this any longer.</p><p>“Yeah,” Buck answers, low and calm. Like he’s waiting for Eddie to snap or something. Not surprising considering that he's slumped out on his couch while his son is hiding in his room.</p><p>“What he tell ya?”</p><p>Eddie’s aware of his accent being more pronounced. It mostly happens when he’s exhausted. To have it slip like this on his day off, well yeah, emotions are exhausting. He barely knows how to deal with them on a proper day. </p><p>“Nothing much. Only that you’re upset. And that he'd rather talk about Shannon with you instead of reliving memories that are already good and don’t need to be lived again. Well, not in so many words but that’s what I took from it. Could be wrong, though.” Buck sounds a little sheepish then, as if him correctly reading between the lines is something to be ashamed of. He’s always had that talent with them. With Chris. And with Eddiee, too. </p><p>So Eddie opens his eyes, turns his head to look at Buck and sighs.</p><p>“<b>I have no idea what I’m doing</b> here, Buck. Like none at all. I thought… well.. doing things with him… things she did, motherly things… that it would be nice. But I almost forgot about today, too. I’m the worst…”</p><p>“Stop right there, Eds. Because no. You are not.”</p><p>Buck is looking at him with an intensity Eddie can’t fathom at this moment. Like he wants to imprint his thoughts on Eddie through the way he looks at him. Buck moves then, turns so that he’s sideways on the couch, completely facing Eddie. And Eddie can’t help but look back, caught in the sincerity he finds in those blue eyes.</p><p>“Listen. Today hasn’t started all that great but that just happens. It’s just a minor misstep. Eddie, you love him so much. And he knows it. Just, be there for him on a day like today. That’s enough. Tell him about Shannon. Give him a picture of her, of how she was, that he doesn’t have or know about yet. You are a great father. And Eddie? You aren’t alone. You have a family here.”</p><p>The “you have me” isn’t said but so heavily implied that Eddie smiles. Buck is right of course. He wanted this day to be so good for Chris that he forgot to actually ask him what he wanted. What he needed. One wrong turn. Nothing bad. But still not really good either. Eddie misses the right turn sometimes and will probably do so many more times. Knowing that Buck might be there, helping him find the right way again - it means a lot.</p><p>“When did you get so wise?” </p><p>Buck shrugs, a little self-conscious, the way he does when he doesn’t know how to answer. Mostly when he gets compliments.</p><p>“It’s just what I wish my father had done. Being there. Listening. Talking to me. Therapy sometimes gives you a complete new view on things. You are so completely different from his approach to parenting, from your own father, too. And that’s a really good thing. You are there.”</p><p>“Now. I am here now. Wasn’t always the case.” Eddie’s not sure where this conversation is heading. He doesn’t know what kind of validation he is looking for from Buck.</p><p>“But you changed that, Eddie. You learned. You listened, are listening. You tried and you still try to be the best parent Chris can want and need. It’s all that matters. Man, we are human. We make mistakes. We are allowed to. If you can acknowledge them and correct them or at least try to do so and maybe get help along the way… Well…  It’s good. It’s a good thing.”</p><p>There it is. That’s all he needed to hear, Eddie thinks. That he is allowed to make mistakes. That he is trying. He really is. And he can only hope that he’s doing enough, that Chris gets and has everything he needs to be happy.</p><p>“Hey. Come here,” Buck says into the silence that has settled between them. Eddie doesn’t have time to really react or to move before he finds himself enclosed in Buck’s arms. He doesn’t get hugs all that often, and being cradled like this? It is something. It feels right.</p><p>Soft lip brush against his temple. Once. Twice. Lingering for a short while.That feels right, too. But, they aren’t there yet. This isn’t the time. This is about comfort. About being there for each other. And when Buck moves them so that they are lying on the couch back to front, Eddie lets himself fall into it. </p><p>His eyes slip close and he allows himself to take a minute or five. To regain some of the energy this day has cost him already. And after these few minutes he’ll get up, get his son and will follow Buck’s advice. Preferably with Buck still around. Eddie’s not sure he can talk about Shannon without any kind of support just yet.</p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>"Hmmm... Always."</p><p>The soft “dad” that sounds from next to the couch a while later has him blinking his eyes open again. Chris looks okay. Not sad or annoyed or angry. Okay. The soft snores coming from behind him tell Eddie that they might have been there longer than planned. When he reaches out for Chris and the boy doesn’t hesitate to climb onto the couch to settle against his chest, Eddie decides that he doesn’t care much. This is kind of perfect.</p><p>“Are you okay, Chris?” Eddie asks softly.</p><p>Chris nods.</p><p>“Yes. I’m good.”</p><p>“I’m sorry about today, buddy. From now on we decide together what to do for Mother’s Day. Alright?”</p><p>Chris nods again, this time followed a bright smile and a short hug. The snores from behind Eddie have stopped but Buck hasn’t moved yet, still has his arm around Eddie’s waist and his head buried against the back of his neck. Eddie doesn’t want to move either.</p><p>“With Buck?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“Can we decide together with Buck? What to do later?”</p><p>And that’s the question isn’t it? Eddie doesn’t see why not. So that's what he says. It gets him a satisfied nod from Chris and a squeeze from Buck’s arm around him. The tension that had creeped into Buck’s body gradually vanishes until he snuggles back into Eddie without saying a word. Eddie falls asleep with his son settled against his chest and his best friend, who might be more than just that, plastered against his back. He hasn’t felt this grounded, this safe, this loved in a long time.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don't post on tumblr but was made aware of this. And liked the concept as well as the prompts. So here I am, ready to have some fun again. I'm actually curious how this goes, as it's the first time I'm trying my hand at a "character week".</p><p>This is for <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMeerschwein">SMeerschwein</a>, as she came up with the story idea because I was totally clueless about what to write.</p><p>All mistakes are mine (well, who elses, would they be?). This time for real, though, as I was too slow and there was no time.<br/>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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